Prowl's Banned Music List
by cessy1713
Summary: The way these bots use music should be illegal. Might turn into story. MULTIPLE ONE-SHOTS.
1. I'm Sexy and I Know it

I'm Sexy and I know it!

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><p>Sunstreaker walked pretty happy down the halls almost sauntering through them. Humans stopped and starred as he passed by. His golden form glittering in the sun as he walked past them; a small smile crept onto his lips as he noticed they stared. Reaching the Rec-room he burst through the door the small on his face even bigger. Everyone stopped and stared at his glory, following him with their eyes he sat down. Sideswipe looked at him seriously for a moment before his lips began to move; only his voice didn't come out.<p>

"I'm sexy and I know it!" Techno music began out of nowhere and Sunstreaker didn't care. The room exploded as Sideswipe kicked the table away. The couch seemed to have melted away as Bluestreak, Bumblebee, Jazz and Sideswipe suddenly popped out of nowhere and began to shuffle. There was a spot open for another person in the front and Sunstreaker gladly took it. Walking outside the five bots continued to dance towards the tar-Mac only to lie on it belly down. Looking over his shoulder at the perfect moment the song rang out from their speakers.

"When I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks…"

Noticing some femmes coming their way they all looked at each other their smile taking over their faces. Transforming into their vehicle modes they drove down towards the group of femmes. They all skidded to a halt before the group of cybertronian women. Dancing again the femmes looked at them seriously before a smile broke out and they went to follow the five mech's. Reaching the entrance of the base they were met by Prowl, Ironhide and Ratchet who didn't look happy. The group of five looked at each other curiously not sure of what they were going to do. Ironhide suddenly put his hand behind his head and stuck out his pelvic area. Prowl and Ratchet did the same thing.

"Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah."

Still looking at each other the five mech's eyes popped out before Sideswipe shrugged and copied the older three mech's positions.

"Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah"

Shrugging, the rest followed his lead and shook their hips.

"Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah"

Each group took their turn on each sentence to wiggle their hips until the last one which they did together.

"Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wig, yeah yeah"

Shuffling together as a group now they walked down the halls, all their speakers on full blast. When suddenly Optimus Prime showed up and-

"Sunstreaker! Did you hear what I just said?" Prowl asked irritated. Jumping, Sunstreaker looked around Prowl's office for a moment confused before realization dawned on him. Looking at the seething black and white bot he nodded his head in confirmation.

"Yes I did, Prowl." Sunstreaker easily lied. He had no idea as to what they were talking about. Prowl raised an optic ridge not believing the golden front-liner.

"Then what did I just ask you to do?" Prowl asked with a smug look on his face.

"I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" Jazz burst through the door suddenly with nothing on but his pelvic plating. Jumping into the room after Jazz, Sideswipe and Bluestreak were in the same condition as Jazz; basically naked with the exception of the pelvic plating. Looking around confused Prowl opened his mouth only to have Shadowblur moonwalk backwards into the room. On her head was a giant cardboard box with a robotic face. She of course only had her chest and pelvic plating on. Turning around Shadowblur joined the group standing there. A cut out square made the mouth for the robot and two black circles made the eyes. Looking at Prowl the group of four waited for him to say something.

"Hey, Prowl wanna join us?" Bluestreak innocently asked. For a while Prowl just stared at them his mouth all but unhinging from his face.

"You think he's ok? Usually he would have crashed by-" Shadowblur was cut off when a 'zzZz' sound echoed in the room.

"Never mind there he goes." She said cheerfully. Sunstreaker looked at them and briefly wondered if he was a fortune teller. Prowl's head smacked against his desk as he crashed.

"You think he's kay guys?" Jazz asked worried.

"He's prowl he crashes…a lot you know that Jazz." Sideswipe answered.

"Hey guys lets go harass Ratchet!" Shadowblur suggested. The group looked at her for a minute and shrugged before walking out. "Come on, Sparkles." She called from down the hall.

"Don't call me that!" he yelled before getting off the chair and stared to take off his armor, careful to only leave his pelvic plating. Finally getting all his armor off he quickly ran after the group.

"I'm sexy and I know it" Loudly rang through out the halls that day. And, when Prowl re-booted from his crash to say he wasn't happy was an understatement.

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><p>(In the Brig the next day)<p>

"I'm cold." Sideswipe whined for the 100th time that day. Groans and complaints sounded as the silver warrior complained.

"Shut up! I still can't get the box off my head and you're complaining?" Shadowblur snapped.

"But you have more armor on! You have your chest plating!" Sideswipe yelled.

"Enough guys, we should be worried that Prowl and Ratchet and quite possibly Ironhide are going to mount our afts over their offices!" Jazz said.

"Hey if anyone knew Ratchet was going to flip out like that we wouldn't have gone." Sunstreaker said. The room was silent before Bluestreak broke the silence.

"I heard Prowl banned the song." He said. The room quieted again before Jazz freaked out.

"NOOOOO! THAT'S A GOOD SONG! HOW COULD HE!" Jazz sobbed as his face fell into his hands.

"On the bright side of this the whole base now knows not to tell us to look up songs." Shadowblur said.

"Yea." The room chanted back

"So…" Sideswipe began, "Same time next week?" Words of agreement rang through the brig from each cell the Autobots were located in.

"Poor prowl he's going to have to do a Banned Music List now." Bluestreak quietly said after a while. The room was silent again until an anguished cry was heard through out the base.

A/N:

This has been bugging me to extent. But, seriously how can you not hear this song and not instantly think of Sunstreaker singing this? Is it just me? Ha-ha Poor Jazz his music is getting banned :P Sorry is there are any grammar mistakes, I'm to lazy to look over it. Also I don't own TRANSFORMERS™ or I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. ©


	2. I'm in love with a Stripper

I'm in love with a stripper.

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><p>Lights shinned across the tile floor as Sideswipe sat in a red chair. The sides of the chair wrapped around his form, as if someone had cut a forth of the ball that now was used for the chair. Sipping on some energon he leaned into the chair, his right ankle on top his left knee. Bouncing his knee impatiently he waited for the show to begin. Lights eventually light up a black glass stage. The lights reflected off the glass as a thin blue femme as she strolled across the stage. Her light blue and pink form brightening up the dark stage with her bright colors; slowly he pulled his drink away from his mouth as his jaw unhinged. The small femme grabbed onto a long metal pole, walking around it before rubbing her back side into it. Music started to vibrate the floor as he felt the slow bass of it through his body.<p>

"Got the body of a goddess..."

Gaping like a fish out of water his eyes trailed up her body. This was always the highlight of his days. To see this beauty dance, even if he didn't like what she did for a living he never complained. Walking away from the pole the femme lay on the floor running her hands down her body; Sideswipe's eyes following her hands. Getting back up she grabbed back onto the pole and swung her legs away from the ground. Her legs opened as she swung around the pole with grace; carefully switching her legs upward into a V-shape as she still swung around. Her aft was facing the floor as she still circled the pole. Moving her hands down she let one of her legs wrap around the pole. Swinging herself around the pole up-side down now, he leaned forward in fear that she would fall.

"'Cause I'm in love with a stripper. She poppin', she rollin', she rollin'…"

Getting down she walked off the stage and towards him. Her hips flickering as she walked over. His spark stalled as he saw her coming forwards. His hands shook more and more as she got closer.

"I'm not goin' nowhere, girl, I'm stayin'…"

Upon reaching him her lips spread across her face as she smiled wickedly down at him. Letting her body drop onto his lap, he groaned in appreciation. His hands went up to touch her hip before she grabbed his wrists and put his hands on her breast. A smile broke out across his face as he touched her. Rubbing his shoulders she leaned into him and nipped his collar. Groaning, he moved his hands down her body to grab her aft. Moving to look at him in the eyes he noticed that she didn't look happy. Opening her mouth he was shocked at what she said.

"Get this fragger off me!"

Groaning, he slowly on-lined his optics only to stare down at the blue femme from his dreams. Still reeling from the dream he smiled down at her and kissed her.

"You're a wonderful stripper." He whispered romantically. Or, what he though was a romantic thing to say at the moment. A fist collided with his face as he stumbled away from the blue and pink femme. Snapping out from his daze he looked at a furious purple femme. Well he more like assumed she was pissed since he couldn't see her face. The box was still stuck on her somehow. Her shoulders were tensed and her door-wings in a V-shape.

"That's my sister in case you forgot!" She yelled at him shaking a fist. Getting off the floor the femme brushed away invincible dirt on her frame. Glaring at the Silver mech, the blue femme's battle mask fell over her face. Her swords slid out from her wrists and a pang of fear made its way into his spark. Hearing a gun cock beside him he froze. Shifting a glance to the boxed femme he gulped. Her arm had already transformed into her plasma gun.

"Your wonderful stripper is giving you to the count of 5, Sideswipe." The blue femme snarled. Quickly taking the chance to escape he transformed and sped off. Transforming as well the two femmes took off after him.

Sam sat on top of the table witnessing the whole thing. Punching his shoulder in annoyance he turned and looked at Mikeala.

"Never again are you daring Sideswipe to eat Twinkies." She hissed.

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><p>AN: So I heard this song on the radio and I thought it would be great to have Sideswipe hallucinate to it all because he ate twinkies and crashed since his body isn't supposed to eat human food. It probably wasn't the greatest story I've ever written but it'll do. I also don't know how strippers dance so I looked up Dirty Dancer by Enrqiue Iglesias and got the dancing from that. I got bored and so i did this very quickly sorry it's so short


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